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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27545041">Blood for Freedom</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kissa/pseuds/Kissa'>Kissa</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Shadowhunters (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Aftermath of Torture, Aftermath of Violence, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, BAMF Alec Lightwood, Blood and Violence, Dark fic, Hurt Jace Wayland, Hurt/Comfort, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Parabatai, Parabatai Feels, Sexual Slavery, Sexual Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 17:22:30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>11,645</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27545041</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kissa/pseuds/Kissa</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Alec and Jace are summarily accused and condemned of treason for standing up to the way the Clave is led. They are arrested and sent off to an off the grid facility with little chance of survival.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Alec Lightwood &amp; Jace Wayland, Alec Lightwood/Jace Wayland</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>64</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>38</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Nightfall</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>When I was a child, I would see people around me go missing and everyone pretending it was normal. We were told various equivalents of "s/he went to live on a farm". This story processes some of the realities I learned as an adult about political police, totalitarian states and the abuse of power that happens when there are no sanctions and no oversight. </p><p>Please be warned, I wrote various uncomfortable to read topics in here. I would rather fret and tag excessively than cause anyone unneeded distress. <br/>That being said, it's just fiction, and while it starts bleak, it gets better along the way. </p><p>I hope you will still go on this journey with me :)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"We are forever as one in what remains<br/>You're in my blood from the cradle to the grave" <br/>- Within Temptation, Mercy Mirror<br/><br/><br/></p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>There are days when he can’t tell who he is anymore. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>And he is only distantly aware of the passage of time because in this place where they were thrown away, all he knows are the too bright artificial lights that go on and off at intervals decided by their captors. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>He wonders how Alec is faring. He hasn’t seen him in what feels like ages. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Jace is no longer sure why he is alive. His existence morphed into pain and short periods of respite a while ago - he can’t tell for sure when, or why for that matter. He only knows that no one is coming for him. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>In another lifetime, long before this one, he used to be someone capable of fighting. Someone who had a name, a mission, a family, a code. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Now he has nothing, and the only constants in his life are the clockwork rhythm of his punishments, interrupted only by short moments in which he can feel Alec near.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>In those moments, he crawls close and seeks the warmth of Alec’s body for a short comfort. He is too broken to reach, to touch or speak, and like an animal on the slaughterhouse floor, he seeks the small relief of resting against another body that’s alive among all the pain, the fear and the death. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Death would feel like such a luxury right now. But he can’t even die - they won’t let him. The last time he stopped breathing on the cold, filthy floor of his cell, they gave him something, a serum of sorts, and electrocuted him until he came back. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“My name is Jace and I’m a... I'm a-“ He starts to cry, the next words not even forming in his mind. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>His name is all he has left. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>His name and Alec, whom he knows, as well as the word “parabatai”. </span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Damned</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>(six months earlier) </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Consul, I have made the arrangements. The two prisoners are en route to the facility. Fully untraceable.The Wayland boy has no one who will come snooping, and Lightwood’s family are happy to have him off their hands for a bit. Maryse thinks he’s going to extra training and she signed him over to me herself.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“That was easier than I expected. Nevertheless, well done.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Thank you, Consul. That does leave the issue of them being parabatai, though. We will have to separate them, or none of our methods will work.” </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“On the contrary, keep them together. Just know that to get a reaction from one, you will have to press the other.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Wayland is stronger and will need a harder approach. Lightwood is compliant, he should not pose any issues.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“It won’t matter that much, or for long, where they are going. Oh and… be careful. Don’t do anything that iratzes can’t heal.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Of course, Consul.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Although… iratzes can’t heal mental damage.” </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Who cares about that part? When we’re done with them they’ll be new Shadowhunters. Better soldiers. Good citizens, with no problem submitting to the laws.” </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“I guess I’ll also get to see if my suspicions are correct. I believe Lightwood and Wayland have corrupted their parabatai bond, but have been doing a good job of keeping it a secret.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Wouldn’t that make them harder to break?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Physically, yes. Mentally, absolutely not. But, consider: we have all the time we need with them and blanket permission to do anything we want to them, for as long as we want. We’re basically doing them a favour. We could be sending them directly to The Gard for treason.” </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Their unsanctioned missions did help our cause. Pretty hard to frame them as traitors.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“They have gone against Clave orders. We cannot allow every soldier to do what they want or it will affect the war effort on a massive scale. We have to set a precedent for how to deal with insubordination. I don’t want them to give others ideas.” </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Despair</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Jace lay on the cold floor of his cell. Normally he would be allowed in one room with Alec, in the sensory overload and coldness of the all-white cell they shared. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>But, on days like today, he lost that privilege. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>What he got, instead, was no clothes, no food, no light and no bed for he didn’t know how long. Until his trainers felt he had learned his lesson and would calm down. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>He had heard of such facilities existing - for useless, fallen Shadowhunters who were no longer able to serve and for the ones who rebelled against the Clave. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Judging by the rhythmic sensory torture, hose baths with ice-cold water and beatings, they were in one such facility - and Jace knew there was little hope of anyone coming for them and of them being freed - at least, not before permanent damage was done to them. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Alec was better at taking things as they came. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>He had understood that they had been found guilty of high treason, but because of their many services to the Clave, their sentence had been changed to re-education for later reinsertion in the Shadowhunter society. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Jace had failed to read between the lines and had demanded to see the leader of the facility. An advocate. A trial. And a phone call home. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>When the bloody mass vaguely resembling Jace had been dragged to their cell, Alec had wondered if they had just killed him. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Their steles had been taken away and Jace had received a collar steeped in Edom magic which inhibited his angel abilities. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Jace had only been allowed one iratze, having to recover on his own the rest of the way. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Now, in this cell, he may have lost the few things he is allowed, but at least he has peace. He is sore all over from his</span>
  <em>
    <span> lessons</span>
  </em>
  <span> and he could use some water, but he doubts he has earned it today. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Maybe he can lick the condensation off the steel padding on the outer wall of his cell. </span>
  <span></span>
  <br/>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Compliance</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Alec doesn’t dare to move or make a sound. His whole body is screaming at him, the fear is driving him insane, but what prevails is the concern for Jace. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>He gets to sleep in his bunk in the all white room, not knowing for how long he lost Jace this time. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Dreading to discover which new way they found to break his parabatai. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Jace is an incredibly strong warrior, but their tormentors are Nephilim just like them, they know every detail from Jace’s youth, his current strengths and weaknesses. They have the time and the means to break him. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>He is not sure Jace is still in there, in the battered form that crawls over to the other bunk after the regular</span>
  <em>
    <span> lessons </span>
  </em>
  <span>he receives, or if they broke him and he is merely a shell of his parabatai at this point. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Jace doesn’t speak anymore. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>But Alec does, each time they are brought together. He doesn’t lose hope that one day, Jace will answer.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>When he was taken to the Consul’s office and given actual clothes instead of the prison-style overalls they wear in here, Alec knew it wasn’t for his sake. They gave him a short tank top and soft track pants after the hose bath. He would only bruise later, and the Consul was going to see him at once. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>He knew exactly why he was there and he bent his knee, bowed his head and did as he was told. He let the consul use him as he saw fit. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>The handcuffs never came off.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>On the ride back to the facility, the four massive men escorting him hit him for bleeding in their van. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>But, once in his cell, he received actual food, healing salve and supervised use of his stele. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Jace’s screams coming from the basement made it impossible for Alec to swallow his food and he broke down and cried like a child, happy no one came to punish him this time around. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>In his bunk, Alec doesn’t dare to pray. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span></span>
  <br/>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Master</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Jace was trained to endure hardship, and most of the things he has to endure at the facility fall under that category. Being beaten, starved, exposed to extreme temperatures, deprivation of sunlight, that’s all standard prison and interrogation fare in the Shadow World. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>But what his captors refer to as </span>
  <em>
    <span>lessons</span>
  </em>
  <span> - those are a whole new level of nasty and his mind cannot cope with the fear his main tormentor inspires. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>He calls himself the Master and he wears a mask, an oval, smooth black mask, a bit like the ones they use in fencing, only extremely reflective and unsettling because all Jace sees is his own battered reflection staring back at him. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>On their first session, the Master explained to Jace that he wears a mask, because if he put a blindfold on Jace, it would help enhance his senses and he has no interest in that. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>He normally suspends Jace in very uncomfortable positions and asks him questions. If there is any hesitation, or he simply doesn’t like the answer, he uses an array of whips and canes to hit Jace until the skin bursts open. When Jace faints, and that happens quite a few times, he wakes him up by throwing salt onto his open wounds. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>But iratzes do fix that, so after a few buckets of cold water to chase away the salt, he heals Jace’s cuts and lets him down from the hemp ropes. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>The Master also figured out Jace and Alec corrupted their parabatai bond. In the beginning, he assumed they hadn’t, and the thought that any pain he inflicted on Jace would be cut in half by the bond and sharing it with Alec displeased him immensely. But soon, after sitting in on some of Aldertree’s experiments, he realised the parabatai pair feel the exact same pain and it is no longer absorbed and diminished in the bond, their souls having really become one, instead of each carrying a piece of the other within itself. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>That only made the Master torture Jace with more élan.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>He also takes great pleasure in describing to Jace in minute detail what the Consul is doing to Alec in the secrecy of his office. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah, see, this is so beautiful, you will let me do unspeakable things to you with little more than a whimper, but as soon as I merely tell you that the old goat is laying his hands on your parabatai, you want to disembowel me and everyone standing between you and the consul. It must anger you that Alec chose to allow all those things. He could have fought the consul and now he’d be hanging here, by your side, tied up just like you. Funny how the battle bond is only sacred until there’s the certainty of pain on the horizon. Do you like being in love with a coward? Does your doormat boyfriend kneel for you? Does it make you hard to know he’d let you do whatever you wanted to him, just as long as you tell him he’s a good boy? Hell, he’s letting the consul do that to him right now.” </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Jace can feel the man’s disdain and disgust through the amorphous mask. He wants to hurt the man so badly. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>If only he could reach deep enough within himself to activate his angel powers… but the harder he tries, the more painful the retaliation from his collar gets. <br/><br/></span>
  <span>“There, there. Just accept it. You can’t control this. Stop squirming. You look like a kitten who’s being scruffed for peeing on the carpet. Now, back to our lesson…” </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Sinking</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Alec enjoys a certain privileged status. When he is alone, he is treated well, he can go out in the “garden”, a separate room with spheres of different sizes, some growing from the floor, others dangling from the ceiling or glued to the walls. Through a myriad tiny holes in one of the walls, air from outside can enter. Lately it smells like spring. </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Then, there are times when they hurt him and make Jace watch. He tries to tell him, without words, not to worry. Not to cry for him, not to give them what they want. </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But it’s impossible not to break and he feels for Jace even as he is dealt the torture, because he knows Jace feels it tenfold. </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>He could try and close his end of the bond, but for some reason that is no longer an option.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>One day, Alec realises with horror that he cannot tell if sharing all of himself with Jace opened the bond fully between them or if it was something that was done to them since they got here. </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>What reaches him from Jace is a nightmare reel of shaky, blurry images, snapshots of what they are doing to him when they take him away for</span>
  <em>
    <span> lessons</span>
  </em>
  <span> and </span>
  <em>
    <span>treatments</span>
  </em>
  <span>, all fading to white. </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>One day he is the unwilling and powerless remote witness to one of the guards slapping Jace to the ground after they nearly drowned him in a tank of ice cold water. </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>He can feel something warm running down his chin and he knows Jace’s lip is split. </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Then, asphyxia starts to set in as the guard chokes Jace with a huge, filthy hand squeezing around his trachea.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Alec goes into shock and cannot help the tears that run down his cheeks as he feels what the guard is doing next. </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>He can’t even scream because no one will come to help them. </span>
  <span>Jace retches and throws up bile, unable to please the guard, who gives up, but not before kicking Jace until he is crying on the metal grill floor of the bathroom. </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>The guard’s perfunctory wiping him dry with a hemp towel hurts even more, and he can only slouch powerlessly as he is dressed back into his prisoner jumpsuit and carried like a rag back to the cell he shares with Alec.</span>
  <span></span><br/>

  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Alec wipes his tears and hurries to Jace, picking him up and wrapping him around his body, as one would with a frightened child and trying to soothe him with gentle caresses. One of his hands stays on the back of Jace’s head, while the other travels up and down Jace’s back.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Beast</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The words get to Alec more than blades or fists.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>The consul likes to use him often and hard. And while he has Alec on his knees, or draped over the backrest of the sofa in his office, he loves to whisper the most cursed things in Alec’s ear. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <em>
    <span>“You just love kneeling for me, angels, look at you.” </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>
      <br/>
    </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>
      <br/>
    </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>“You’re doing so well, pet.” </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>
      <br/>
    </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>
      <br/>
    </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>“Such a good plaything.” </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>
      <br/>
    </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>
      <br/>
    </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>“So demure and good, you learn so fast, my pet.” </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>
      <br/>
    </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>
      <br/>
    </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>“You were made to kneel for me.” </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>
      <br/>
    </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>
      <br/>
    </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>“You’re so lucky you’re beautiful and such a perfect slut, or you would have long burned in the Gard.” </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>
      <br/>
    </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>
      <br/>
    </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>“It was so clever of you to become Wayland’s parabatai, seeing that there’s nothing special about you. As a fighter. You do make an excellent fucktoy.” </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Alec could throw up and murder the consul on the spot every time the old man lets his wretched mouth run. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>But he’s witnessed a conversation between the consul and Aldertree, his second in command, one day when the consul had barely finished tucking himself in after using Alec’s throat and making him stay on his knees, naked, next to his desk, like the pet he sees him as. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Aren’t you afraid of having this one in here, with no security?” </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“They’re outside. Besides, this one is not a fighter. He won’t be a problem.” The consul said, turning to Alec and planting a hand in his hair, tugging on it to make Alec look up. “You’re a good pet aren’t you?” </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Alec knows better than to speak and he just blinks. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“See? Besides, he used to be an archer. That’s not really warrior skills. That’s a coward’s weapon.” </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Usually, Alec is allowed to clean himself up in the consul’s bathroom before being taken back to the facility. And since they trust him to be harmless, they do not search him.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>But the bathroom has many interesting things, like a comb with a long, sharp handle. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>He doesn’t have time to make big plans for his acquired weapon, because later that night, he becomes aware of four guards that took Jace into their room at the end of the hall. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Alec sees what Jace sees, the men’s predatory faces, and he knows exactly what follows. Cold, paralysing fear takes over him. He won’t sit back and watch those huge men take turns raping his parabatai. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jace won’t survive it. <br/><br/></span>
  <span>He pretends to go to sleep and bundles the sheets to make it look like he is under there. When he is brought back from the Consul’s office, there is usually only one guard patrolling the floor. Alec lures him with a lie, that the Consul praised him by name.  From there on, it gets easy. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>He poses the dead guard under the sheets, to buy himself some time. The others are not looking at the cameras right now, also thinking he will be a good little prisoner and stay put in his bunk. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>When he gets to the wardens’ room, he uses the dead guard’s chip to open the door and he switches off the light, locking the door from inside. He makes a mental map of where each guard is. He can feel Jace in the bond and he knows which corner to avoid. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>His bare feet make no sound on the stone floor as he approaches the first guard, burying the comb handle in his inner thigh and dragging down savagely, opening the man’s femoral artery. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>The next one, to the left, has his brachial artery slashed.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>He snaps the third one’s neck. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>The fourth one puts up a bit of a struggle, but once Alec has him in a headlock, he’s gone as well. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Alec goes and switches on the light, finding Jace huddled in a corner, squinting to get used to the light. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Come. Let’s get out of here.” He says softly, closing Jace’s jumpsuit back up and taking his hand, leading him out of there. “Don’t step in the blood.” </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>If there are other inmates in the facility, they must be on other levels, because right now, Alec and Jace are the only living beings on their floor. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“I’m not going to let them hurt you anymore, Jace.” Alec says, not knowing yet how he’ll make good on his promise. “I’m going to get us out of here.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>He thinks he sees a small smile on Jace’s bruised features. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>For now, they both need rest and Alec holds Jace wrapped tightly in his arms all through the many hours they need until they regenerate a bit.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Alec thinks he knows where they keep the steles and the key to Jace’s collar. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Child</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He can hear someone approaching, the sound of many boots on the concrete floors, plus two sets of women’s heels. </p><p>Alec places himself between the bunk, where Jace is still lying, and the door, but to the side, so he can surprise whoever comes in and take a few down before they overpower him. <br/><br/>It’s Inquisitor Herondale, with her personal guards… and Isabelle? <br/><br/>Isabelle sees Jace first and screams in shock. <br/><br/>Imogen’s eyes only widen in horror and she covers her mouth with her hand. <br/><br/>“My baby…” Alec hears her whisper. <br/><br/>Isabelle turns and sees Alec too. <br/><br/>“Alec! By the Angel. I thought I’d never see either of you again.” She says and runs straight into Alec’s arms. <br/><br/>He cannot unwind, cannot relax and hug his sister like he wants to. What if this is some new, advanced form of torture? What if they are here only to give them hope, which Aldertree and the Consul will crush later? <br/><br/>“Alec, what’s wrong?” Izzy asks. <br/><br/>Alec points to Jace’s neck and the collar. The demonic energy left black and red scarring on Jace’s skin and it sends constant waves of pain through Jace. <br/><br/>Imogen opens a napkin she was carrying when they entered. In it, Alec sees the key to the collar, covered in fresh blood and traces of flesh. <br/><br/>Aldertree had the key embedded in his chest with a warlock’s help. <br/><br/>Izzy skipped the magic extraction. </p><p>***<br/><br/>Although Alec keeps expecting to wake up in their cell and see Jace bloody and unresponsive opposite him, it slowly sinks in that they are free. <br/><br/>Izzy told him that Magnus Bane, while snooping for other things, recorded a conversation between Valentine and one of his commanders, where they were discussing Jace’s real family and how Valentine stole him from his mother’s womb after experimenting on the fetus.   <br/><br/>She also told Alec how at some point, curious about the unauthorised experiments rumoured to be taking place at remote Clave facilities, she started dating Victor Aldertree to try and find out what was going on and possibly, where the Clave had taken her brothers for their “re-education” process. Finding that out had been tricky, but Izzy had learned that Consul Dieudonné had been a Circle sympathiser and had secretly joined the Circle, helping Valentine in his experiments and plans to destroy the Clave and its authority on the Shadow World. <br/><br/>Imogen brought the most qualified medical professionals to assist with Jace’s recovery, and they all noticed how, as soon as they separated Alec from him, Jace’s condition would worsen rapidly. <br/><br/>Alec was allowed to stay and recover next to his parabatai, which brought him unexpectedly close to the Inquisitor. <br/><br/>Imogen feels guilty for letting these unauthorised activities happen right under her nose, and most of all, she worries that they are too late and Jace may be too traumatised to return to everyday life and to his Shadowhunter work. Which means that all of Alec’s requests are met with approval and she just about worships the ground he walks on, for ensuring her grandson’s survival through their ordeal. <br/><br/>No one asks him how he is faring, if he needs special care. He is given the standard five hours of therapy with an authorised listener and one week off duty. Then, once he passes the required tests for field work, he is sent on missions again. <br/><br/>However, they don’t dare to treat Jace the same way, one, because he is physically unable to hold a weapon, and two, because Imogen is guarding him like he is a dragon’s egg. <br/><br/>One evening, when Alec is in Jace’s room, reading to him in the hopes that Jace will humour him and have a few mouthfuls of his dinner, Jace looks at the plate, then at Alec. <br/><br/>“I miss pizza,” he says, his voice hoarse and unused. <br/><br/>“Jace!” The book falls to the floor and Alec is by Jace’s side, hugging him and running his hands through the soft blond hair. Imogen had a warlock barber come to the Institute to help with Jace’s grooming while he was recovering, but the barber didn’t dare to cut too much of the side with the long strands of hair so now they’re reaching down past Jace’s jaw, sweetening his features and making him appear younger. He’s still severely underweight and his eyes seem so much larger against his sharpened features. Alec thinks he looks like a sad ghost and it breaks his heart. But he knows weight can be regained. <br/><br/>Hearing Jace speak to him again makes his heart sing. For a long time, it was touch and go, even he was unsure if Jace would pull back from that edge of madness the continued pain and torture pushed him to. <br/><br/>“Let’s get some, then?” He suggests. This is highly unsanctioned, and Imogen might be pissed if he takes Jace out of the Institute so soon, but he’s sure he can make everyone see how much it will help Jace. <br/><br/>And besides, they’ve cleared <em> him </em> for being back in the field, so it’s not like Jace is going out there without any protection. <br/><br/>None of Jace’s clothes still fit, so Alec rummages through Clary’s wardrobe, getting a pair of camo trousers, a stretchy black shirt and a hoodie. She won’t miss them before he has them cleaned and returns them. </p><p>No one dares to stop them on their way out, and Alec tells Izzy where he and Jace will be. <br/><br/>Jace also feels comfortable enough to hug Izzy, happy to get to hug his little sister in the first place, but also aware that he is free thanks to her. <br/><br/>“Bring me a slice in a doggy bag, will you.” Izzy says, watching Jace slip his hand in Alec’s before they walk out into the New York night. <br/><br/>As soon as they are alone, out in the dark, Jace speaks again. <br/><br/>“How are you holding up?” <br/><br/>Alec shrugs. <br/><br/>“You saw. I was cleared for missions in no-time.” <br/><br/>“That’s not what I asked.” <br/><br/>Alec looks at Jace in a way that tells more than words can manage, but says nothing. <br/><br/>“I hate all this.” Jace puts out. “What it does to you.” <br/><br/>“I’m keeping it together. What matters is that you’re back.” Alec says, a bit snippy. “I thought they’d finally done too much harm and you would never come back to us. And I can’t… Jace, I need you. If you go… but, whatever. You’re back.” <br/><br/>“I’m not that Jace anymore.” <br/><br/>“I know. There’s no rune to undo what they did to you in there.” <br/><br/>“Or to you.” <br/><br/>“I went along with it, and now… now I’m nothing.” Alec whispers. <br/><br/>“You’re everything.” Jace counters, closing the distance between them and melting into Alec, who wraps his arms around him a few seconds later, his brain needing time to catch up with what is going on. “And I can’t wait to remind you.” <br/><br/>Alec squeezes Jace in his arms cautiously, like cuddling a very rare bird. He is happy to see Jace returning to his usual self, albeit scarred and changed. But Jace’s question made a wound he carefully covered bust right open and seep through the layers of his forced resilience. <br/><br/>Times like these remind Alec how limited he is in his abilities to pack away all the curveballs life throws him. He is made aware of how much of him is human and he wishes he had a bit more angel blood, just enough to help him cope without needing the help. <br/><br/>Like Jace. Sure, Jace has him, but his angel blood also made him a bigger target. Imogen protects her grandson, but not because it’s Jace. It’s because of what he represents to her. <br/><br/>At least Jace will be whole again. He will bounce back and his body will bury the memory of all the kinds of pain he’s been dealt. <br/><br/>They sit in a booth at the pizza place and they each order a large pizza just the way they like it, plus some to go for Isabelle. <br/><br/>Jace still looks at Alec, a wordless question floating between them. <br/><br/>He noticed.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Mother</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Five more weeks and things are back to normal in the New York Institute. Almost normal. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Consul Dieudonné disappeared to join the Circle, Victor Aldertree was found dead in his bed with his chest ripped open, as though someone had punched right through him and the Clave is in turmoil. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>In the vacuum of power that ensued, Imogen Herondale is acting as consul, handling dealings with the Downworld and matters of prosecution and justice in the Clave. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Thanks to a conversation she had with Alec about things he overheard while in Dieudonné’s office, she now knows that he’s been getting rid of his and Valentine’s political enemies and basically everyone who could stand in their way by accusing them of imaginary crimes, fabricating evidence and summarily executing them via immolation in the Gard. Those who escaped that fate did not fare much better, having to go through the things Alec and Jace were put through as well and worse. Alec and Jace enjoyed a somewhat better status because Jace was interesting from a research and experiments point of view and Alec was the tool used to control him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>There is, of course, a time pressure to round up all of the old consul’s sympathisers and facilitators. It is not just the guards and those who directly participated in the torture, the arrests and the abductions. It is also those Shadowhunters who ratted in their co-workers, partners, friends, out of a need to be seen as more hard-working and more loyal, thus saving their own skins from condemnation, at least for a while. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Imogen is now in the tricky position of setting an example of how to deal with political adversaries without falling into the trap of overkill, or being just as terrible as the people she convicts. Alec proves himself of great value at this point, as he is capable of thinking of nuances and planning ahead based on how certain rulings are perceived by the rest of the Shadow World. Thanks to him, the summary executions and the so-called “re-education” practices stop. It’s what he was prepared to do and he moves with ease through the labyrinth of legal intricacies and negotiations. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>There are quite a few derunings and many important Clave members who are found guilty are exiled. It is only fitting that they be stripped of the power they abused. Many of them are not even capable of surviving in the mundane world, having wallowed in their privileged status and not having thought ahead. Those who have, can now hope to survive as mundanes and pray they never attract the attention of demons or other Downworld members they may have upset while in power.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>One afternoon, Imogen is about to go find Alec and go over a few things with him, when Maryse barges into her office. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Imogen!” Maryse says, looking enraged and like her blood is boiling. “Did you know that your grandson and my son, who are parabatai, have corrupted their bond?! I went to ask Alec something and I found Jace in his room and they were kissing… like lovers do!” </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Yes, Maryse, I was aware.” </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“And? They broke the law! There’s going to be consequences! Or… are you going to do nothing, now that you know Jace is your grandson?” </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Imogen rubs her temples, pondering how to answer in a way that doesn’t involve reaching for her seraph blade and beheading Maryse where she stands. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Your son and Jace being lovers is what has ensured their survival.” She says, eventually. “Grow a heart, Maryse. I can’t underline enough how tone deaf your outburst is. You are being a terrible mother right now. Instead of thinking of how much pain your son has been through, how well he is doing and recovering, you want him punished? The law may be hard, but it is also imperfect. I do not care what you or anyone else thinks my motives are. I simply don’t think we can afford to put any more parabatai to death because of our own intolerance. Even mundanes are coming around to better feelings towards same sex relationships!”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Who cares they are same sex?! They are parabatai. They made a vow! In front of you, and the whole Clave!” Maryse says.”Does that mean nothing anymore, simply because you want to protect Jace now?” </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Actually, Maryse, I want to protect Alec </span>
  <em>
    <span>and</span>
  </em>
  <span> Jace. We are Nephilim, not demons. Parabatai. Do you even know what it means? Two people, sharing their souls, protecting each other in battle and in life. That is exactly what Alec and Jace have been doing. If one of them or both needed more, that is their business. And theirs alone. The angels do not forbid it. Our earthly law does, out of a shortsightedness that was no doubt intentional.” </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I just thought, now that you are acting as consul as well, you want to punish everyone who breaks the laws.” </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“And you thought turning in your own son would make a good impression. Well done, Maryse. Actually, you know what? There are going to be consequences.” </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Maryse lights up expectantly.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“I am transferring Robert to the LA Institute and naming Alec Head of this one.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“What about me? Am I going to LA as well? Surely you know that Robert and I are no longer together and are seeking a divorce.” </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“You will be deruned. You have clipped your son’s wings for the last time.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Monster</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Imogen enlisted the help of another, very well regarded and unrelenting Inquisitor. </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Alec thinks she needed the help because she did not want to have that kind of blood on her hands. While executions were no longer the punishment of choice, some level of torture was still used to get proven Circle collaborators to talk. He still thought it possible to outsmart the prisoners into talking. </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>The day when Dario “the Cleaver” Mannaia portaled in from Rome was an important one. He brought big news, concerning the location of the fugitive consul.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He came directly to the war room, where he was received by Imogen and Alec, freshly appointed Head of the Institute. </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>They gathered around one of the holo-projection tables to strategise based on the intel Mannaia had brought. </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>The Consul, it turned out, was hiding among mundanes, glamoured of course, posing as a billionaire whom he had killed in order to assume his identity. Now, he had a literal private army at his beck and call. </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Alec’s attention was drawn to something moving in the corner of his eye. </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Jace had been upstairs, finishing his breakfast, still in the shorts he had slept in. He must have come downstairs to bring the bowl to the kitchen. </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Alec can see around the corner, in the hallway where Jace now stands, since he is facing that way while Dario speaks and points at various locations on the holo-projection. </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Jace stands, rooted in place in the hallway, one hand covering his mouth, the other clenching the bowl he is holding. </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Normally, nothing to worry about, but Alec sees the puddle forming at Jace’s feet and he frowns. </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Now it clicks.  </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Jace cannot see Dario, only hear him. </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Just like the Master, who keeps haunting his nightmares even now, months after escaping the facility. </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>The small hairs on Alec’s back stand up in tension. This man is responsible for nearly destroying Jace. He has taken exquisite pleasure in torturing a man who could have been his own son to within an inch of his life. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He considers his options. They are unarmed. If he reveals what he knows, Dario will know he’s been exposed and disappear. A man like him will be impossible to catch after. </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <em>
    <span><br/>
</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>He must not leave the Institute alive. </span>
  </em>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>There’s only a few steps to the weapons rack… if only he could go there without arousing suspicion. </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <em>
    <span>Think, Alec. Think. Jace needs you. </span>
  </em>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>He tries to reach for that power inside him, that despair which drove him to defend Jace in the facility. </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>His odds look bad. He is a decent swordsman, but Mannaia is an artist of the blade. </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Only Jace could take him, but Jace is standing around the corner in the hallway, petrified with terror and only hearing Mannaia’s voice was enough to make him wet himself in terror. </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>When Alec looks up next, to where Jace stood, he doesn’t see him there any longer. </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>He focuses back on the conversation, and he locks eyes with Mannaia. </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <em>
    <span>He knows. </span>
  </em>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“I suggest I go in alone. The consul and I are on friendly terms. He will not suspect why I am there.” Mannaia says.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <em>
    <span>He’s testing the waters. To see if I simply dislike his vibes or know more. </span>
  </em>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“I respectfully disagree.” Alec says. “He knows he is a hunted man. Seeing you first will give him precious time to come up with a plan to vanish again. He will be paranoid enough to think that if a friend could find him, so can the Clave.” </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Alec, what do you suggest we do?” Imogen asks. </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“I go in alone. At night. Wound him from a distance, with an arrow. You can go in and pick him up.” Alec says. He knows it’s a stupid plan, but Mannaia needs to be thrown off the scent. </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Will Jace be joining us?” Mannaia asks. “I heard he made an amazing recovery and I should be so lucky to witness the legendary shadowhunter in action.” </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Jace is... “ Alec starts. </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Caught in other projects. Alec will represent him in this matter.” Imogen says. </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>She’s been watching Alec, and he knows she’s seen the minute cues in his body language. </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Dario, I’d love to hear more of your ideas. Where is this location again? I am not familiar with this billionaire’s compound.” Imogen says and leans over the schematics on the table. </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“I’m sure you would, old hag.” Mannaia says and smacks Imogen’s head into the table, knocking her unconscious. “Where is he, whore?” </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Alec finds himself backing away. He cannot scream for help, everyone was told to leave the Institute for three hours, so the secret strategy meeting can take place. Jace was not supposed to attend anyway and Imogen trusts him. </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mannaia opens his coat and takes out two long, thin blades. </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>He jumps on the table and slices at Alec, missing him by a hair’s breadth. </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Alec turns and runs for the weapons rack, knowing it’ll cost him. </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Fine, I’ll find him myself.” Mannaia says and throws one of the blades at Alec like a spear. It enters Alec somewhere under his left shoulder blade and exits right under his right collarbone. </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“You’re no fun to play with.” </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>When he turns, he is met with the end of Jace’s own sword. </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“You come into my home, hurt the ones I love.” Jace says. </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah well, can’t have any of you spoil my plans. Imogen’s gone soft in her old age, Lightwood is useless and you… you are coming with me. I’m not done training you.” Mannaia says, spinning the handle of his remaining blade in his palm. </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Over my dead body.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“As you wish.” </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Their swords clash.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“It’s not so easy, when your looks don’t serve you, is it? Did your angel powers return? Looks like they didn’t.” Mannaia taunts. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jace bites his lower lip and adjusts his stance. He hasn’t done this in a long time, since before he was taken to that nightmare place. He </span>
  <em>
    <span>is</span>
  </em>
  <span> weak, and he </span>
  <em>
    <span>is</span>
  </em>
  <span> afraid, but that hasn’t stopped him in the past. He is worried for every moment that goes by and he cannot give the life saving iratze to Alec and get his grandmother the care she needs. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You get by just fine.” He spits back, attacking over and over, backing Mannaia into a corner. </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>But the older shadowhunter is bigger, stronger and fights dirty. He uses his much bigger body mass to push Jace off of him and punches his sword arm, crushing first the nerve in the elbow, then the joint near the armpit. Then he backhands Jace with such force, it sends him to the floor in a heap. He walks over and picks Jace up by the neck, choking him. </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Still nothing more than a kitten who peed on the carpet, without your precious angel powers.” Mannaia relishes his victory, looking at Jace’s limp and now bruising sword arm. </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Jace reaches into his shorts pocket with his good arm, taking out a small cheese knife he took from his room and burying it in Mannaia’s abdomen, right under his sternum, and slicing down with all the strength he has. Then, again, until the parting flesh squelches around Jace’s hand.  Until the grip around his neck lets up and Mannaia’s guts spill out of him before the man drops to the floor. </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“It takes a while to die like this. Not long enough to make me feel avenged. But enough to make it a bumpy ride to Hell. Monster.” Jace says, searching Mannaia for further weapons and going to ring the alarm.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>He gets to Alec first, he is in the most urgent need for healing and he traces his iratze after carefully removing the blade. Alec is still in shock from being skewered clean through and he will need further care, but he’s not dying anymore. </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Jace goes and tends to his grandmother next, letting himself fall to the floor next to her and Alec, passing out from exhaustion and pain. </span>
  <span></span><br/>

  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>He hopes his arm can be saved. </span>
</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Band-aid</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Jace’s arm recovers well and fast. Imogen is the first one to fully recover and Alec needs a few days in the infirmary to heal from his injury. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Jace spends those days glued to Alec’s side, either sleeping curled up around him or reading to him. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>He also takes care of Alec’s grooming while he is recovering, bringing supplies to soften his beard and shave it clean off, just like Alec likes it, so he doesn’t have to deal with bushy growth once he gets released from the infirmary. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Jace knows he’s being overbearing, especially when he insists on doing everything for Alec on his own, from cleaning him to feeding him. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Alec fights him a lot for it, and Jace has to gently, but firmly remind him he needs to accept a little bit of love here and there if he’s going to make a full recovery. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“You always do everything for me and protect me from the worst things. Let me do that for you, for a change. I know you don’t feel like you deserve it, but fact is, you do.” Jace tells Alec. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Alec is so kind, he appears weak and stupid to many. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>When he hears news of his mother’s deruning, he cries inconsolably for a day and feels sorry for her, thinking of the painful process and the shame. Not for one moment does he feel vindicated or like this is a just consequence for her actions. A big part of him will forever be the boy who just wants his mother to love him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>However, once the shock passes, he accepts Imogen’s sentence and sees the reasoning. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Imogen herself tells him what did it and what was the final drop in making her punish Maryse. Later, Alec opens up to Jace about it. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“So my mom got deruned because of me? Because I broke the law.” </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“We both broke the law, Alec. But your mother ratted us in. She wanted to see us suffer further, she was okay with us being deruned and exiled, maybe even killed in the Gard.” </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“We always knew being caught was a possibility. It was a risk we took knowingly.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“You always find a way to make yourself out to be the bad guy. Not everything that happens is because of you.” Jace says, exasperated in the moment. But at least Alec is well enough to be back to his old devices. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Because I’m less than nothing, Jace. My mother is right, I am weak and not the Shadowhunter I could have been. I’ve been nothing but weak and a failure since before we were arrested! If I hadn’t been, I might be dead now, but at least I would not shame my entire family.” </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Alec, look at me. You’re Head of the Institute. You’ve advised Imogen on changing so many laws for the better. Thanks to you, parabatai who become lovers will no longer be executed! And now, you’re recovering from an otherwise deadly injury. You saved my life so many times in this last year, and now you are taking a few days to recover. Alec, you’re the strongest person I know!” Jace says, letting his hand caress down the side of Alec’s face, over his jaw and down his neck. “I love you so much. I know I don’t deserve you, but I’m so grateful you’re mine.” </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Alec closes his eyes briefly, unable to stop the storm of emotions that rises in him at Jace’s words. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>You</span>
  </em>
  <span> don’t deserve </span>
  <em>
    <span>me</span>
  </em>
  <span>?” He starts. “You deserve much better. You deserve a parabatai who isn’t weak. Who doesn’t let everyone… take everything from him just because there’s threats. How can you even say I’m yours still? After I let the consul touch me… I’m not yours anymore, I’m… I’m nothing!” He cries, hot tears spilling down his cheeks quietly. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Jace has to fight back tears of his own. He knew this conversation was due any day now and in a way he’s thankful they are in the infirmary and Alec can’t just run away and avoid the painful conversation for as long as he can, choosing instead to resort to his self-harm methods to find a semblance of peace with how things are by blaming himself entirely. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Alec, you are my everything and I love you. If you die, I die too. If you suffer, it pains me too.” Jace says, sitting up so he can look at Alec and so Alec can see there is nothing but truth to his words. He takes Alec’s hand, his thumb stroking slowly. “What the old consul did to you is unspeakably vile. He raped you, Alec. You didn’t have a choice. He threatened you with violence, death and hurting me. You survived. That’s not weak. That’s incredibly strong. I don’t know anyone else who would have managed what you did.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“You won’t even look at me in that way anymore. I’ve waited so long. And I’m fine, even in that hell place I was allowed to iratze myself back to normal. But now that that monster had his hands on me, you can’t bring yourself to touch me anymore. And I don’t blame you. No one wants used things.” </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Alec, you’re not a thing!” Jace says, his heart breaking for Alec. “You’re my parabatai. And my one true love in this life. I don’t care what it took to help you survive. The consul will pay dearly, not because he messed with something of mine, but because he hurt you, and I don’t want you to suffer! And the reason I haven’t touched you was because we were both recovering and I was afraid I’d make you relive those nightmare moments all too soon.” </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“I’d give anything to feel like I don’t disgust you now.” Alec whispers. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I guess I’ll just have to show you,” Jace capitulates, kissing Alec’s tears away. “Soon as you’re out of here.” </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>It still feels like he’s slapping a band-aid on an open fracture, but he’d rather deal with the damage as it surfaces instead of having Alec spiral down into his private hell of shame and guilt. One of these days Alec will see he doesn’t have to fight his demons alone and that he’s allowed the same courtesy he affords Jace every time Jace does something unspeakably reckless. </span>
  <span></span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Mirror</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Alec thinks of their first time-<br/><br/>- how sudden and spontaneous it was, how his heart was in his throat at first, and only calmed down because Jace knew how to whisper to it and what to say. <br/><br/>He remembers the lightness he felt in his body and in his mind, knowing that Jace had them, had him, that Jace knew where it was all going. <br/><br/>He had been way more innocent than Jace or anyone else had suspected before that. Unlike other teenagers, he hadn’t looked at magazines or googled adult videos. He hadn’t even touched himself that often, feeling guilty and disappointed every time he did it. <br/><br/>He had, however, fantasized about Jace on many sleepless nights. <br/><br/>And since Jace still had the habit of sneaking under the covers with him whenever he couldn’t sleep, some mornings had been more difficult than others. Alright, many mornings had been difficult. <br/><br/>Sparring had become a challenge in new ways. <br/><br/>Seeing Jace bare himself to him was messing with his concentration now. His airways narrowed when he looked at Jace straddling him, panting hard, rivulets of sweat running down his neck and his incredibly toned torso. Alec felt there was not enough air in the room when they were so close in <em> that </em> way. <br/><br/>At times, it had seemed as though Jace was on to him- there had been times when Jace hadn’t contented himself with Alec’s knee touching the floor as he tapped out on Jace’s thigh. No. On some occasions, Jace wrestled him to the ground until he was on his back, thighs parted of their own accord so Jace could fit between them perfectly. And sometimes Jace would just have one strong thigh between Alec’s, finding leverage against the floor and pinning Alec down with his entire weight, watching him with this feral look of unrepressed <em> hunger </em> , like he was barely holding back from opening a huge mouth full of teeth and swallowing Alec whole. His hand would cradle Alec’s jaw or throat and squeeze until it was painful, and Jace would <em> watch </em> - until something inside him felt pleased with the image of total surrender Alec painted beneath him. <br/><br/>Alec had come untouched in his track pants so often during those times and he had known Jace could feel it, but he could see Jace was in a similar state. However, he had thought Jace had every right to be horny because Jace was sexually active and it was normal for him to have desires and needs. Alec hadn’t afforded himself the same acceptance, since he was fixated on only one person, one he could not have, one he should not even be feeling that way for in the first place. </p><p>And then one day Jace had stopped fucking around - in every way. He had pinned Alec to the mat in the training room and licked into his mouth, his tongue sloppily trailing over Alec’s parted lips just as he was gasping for air. <br/><br/>And then, those words-</p><p>“Tell me you want me.” <br/><br/>Not “please”, not “do you-”, not “maybe”. <br/><br/>“Yes, I-” <br/><br/>“What’s that?” Jace had pushed, ruthless. There were other people training around them but paying them no mind, and Alec could feel Jace’s knee press down on his cock through two layers of workout pants. <br/><br/>“I want you.” <br/><br/>“Beautiful. Come get me.” Jace had whispered, and then he was off of Alec and already several steps away, almost out the training room. <br/><br/>Alec had had to breathe a few times and look up so he wouldn’t fall like a newborn calf as soon as he was on his feet. <br/><br/>He had looked around to see if anyone had watched them, but no one had. Everyone knew Jace really liked to churn the butter out of his parabatai on the mat and it was a daily occurrence so no one gave a damn. <br/><br/>Alec had gone in search of Jace, finding him in his room in the bell tower-</p><p>-well, not quite, as Jace was just exiting his bathroom as Alec came in, a single towel covering him, wrapped around his hips. <br/><br/>“You’re here.” Jace had said, undisguised joy in his voice. “I don’t know about you, but I’m done waiting.” <br/><br/>Then he had opened his towel and that had fried Alec’s brain the rest of the way. <br/><br/>Perhaps, in hindsight, it was sad that Jace making love to him for the first time had been the most tenderness Alec had received in his life until that point. He had cried, overwhelmed, irredeemably in love and scared that it would all be over soon and Jace would pick another target for his affections soon after.  <br/><br/>But Jace had stayed. From that day on, he hadn’t spared anyone a single thought in that way. He had been the parabatai Alec had always dreamt of - and more. <br/><br/>They hadn’t had the time to settle into their relationship; missions were numerous, Valentine was back, demons kept murdering mundanes, the Clave wanted things that they couldn’t deliver fast enough, and even their parents piled on the expectations and the demands. <br/><br/>Ever since that first time, Alec had been walking on clouds every moment of every day. To have Jace’s love had been the best thing to ever happen to him. A warlock had approached him, offering to make one of his big wishes come true if he let her bottle some of his aura. But he had said, “I have everything I need. No deal.” He could have asked for many things, but at that moment, he had been so overcome with happiness, everything seemed perfect in his life. <br/><br/>*** <br/><br/>Now, he hesitated for minutes before he undressed and slipped under the covers in Jace’s room, wondering what Jace is doing for so long in the bathroom. Is he giving himself a pep talk to be able to perform? Is he coming up with a plausible story behind why he cannot touch him that way again? Is Jace preparing a speech about how he’s not really into guys and how it was all just a mistake? <br/><br/>The door to the bathroom opens and Jace stands on the threshold, but only long enough for him to open his towel and throw it back somewhere behind him. </p><p>Alec can see that Jace is not back to his previous top shape yet, but he feels desire suffuse him and erase his mind of any other thoughts. <br/><br/></p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Home</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Alec is tense - so damn tense and he hates himself for it. Every time, without fail, even when he knows only pleasant things follow, he gets nervous like he’s about to sit an exam and risks not getting a sufficient mark.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>But this is his usual nervousness before sex - no trace of dread or memories of the consul. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>In honesty, he wasn’t really there for those times, only for a minimum of participation, like remembering to breathe, changing position, nodding, kneeling and not talking. More wasn’t asked of him, because the consul is a gross old man with no imagination. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Jace is already hard, on all fours on top of him, the blankets still between them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you want to…?” Jace asks, tapping his blanket-covered knee. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Alec closes his eyes briefly and pushes the blankets aside, spreading his legs and letting Jace sit back on his calves between them.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Jace smiles, and it’s a bit shy, not as cocky and overconfident as before, but it still melts Alec to his core. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey. Look at me.” Jace coaxes. “It’s me. I love you.” </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>There’s no pressuring edge to those words, even though Alec searches for it. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>It’s okay to say this is a bad idea, or too soon. But it’s also okay to want it and go through with it. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>He leans in, closes the distance between them and kisses Jace softly, like a question. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jace smiles into the kiss and it’s that sweetness, that vulnerability that only Alec ever gets to see and it’s a power rush in itself - to know that Jace is his as much as he is Jace’s. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Remind me.” Alec breathes out against Jace’s lips, which close around his in a new kiss. For a while, it’s all they know and their arms come up to pull each other closer and reclaim twin  expanses of cool skin. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jace guides Alec back onto the bed, among the pillows, hovering over him and covering him in kisses and bites. He’s not sparing and he doesn’t treat Alec like a porcelain doll - and Alec appreciates that. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Because Jace is always giving him what he needs and how he needs it. And sometimes he makes him earn it by saying it out loud in his words and begging Jace for it. But for now there is an understanding between them, two needs that meet halfway. <br/></span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Alec expects Jace to reach for the lube next, but what he sees next leaves him dizzy and gasping for air. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Jace leaned down between his parted thighs and took him in his mouth. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Alec never got blown before and he feels his eyes roll to the back of his head as he relaxes into the pillows and feels his abs tighten in an attempt for his body to control the waves of blinding pleasure coursing through him. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Instead of using hands to help with his efforts, Jace hooks his arms under Alec’s thighs, holding him in place so he can take him in all the way. </span>
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  <span>Alec looks down and he locks eyes with Jace, who somehow manages to smile, not so much with his lips as with his eyes, and the sight nearly throws Alec over the edge. </span>
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  <span>The only thing that holds him back, even as Jace swallows around him, his throat massaging Alec’s shaft in a way he’s never known before, is the feel of Jace’s lubed fingers opening him up slowly. This time Jace doesn’t draw it out and adds more lube before lining himself up and pushing in. </span>
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  <span>“Oh fuck, Alec…. Shit, how I missed this. Missed you around me, so soft and hot and tight. And all mine,” Jace says, adjusting Alec’s legs on either side of him so he can cover Alec with his own body so their chests are touching and moving against each other with every movement. </span>
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  <span>Jace doesn’t thrust this time. He instead angles his cock in such a way as to find Alec’s spot and starts to grind his hips into Alec’s, wrapping his arms around his parabatai and kissing him over and over, his tongue in Alec’s mouth replicating what his cock is doing below. </span>
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  <span>It’s easy to bring Alec to the edge soon in this position and moving like this. He has Alec effectively pinned to the mattress just like those times when they used to spar not so long ago. </span>
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  <span>He knows that Alec’s air intake is limited and Jace’s weight on him is grounding and comforting, that Alec’s world has narrowed down to him above and inside Alec. </span>
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  <span>“How’s that for a welcome back?” Jace asks. “You like that?”</span>
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  <span>Alec nods at once, unable to resist. </span>
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  <span>“Yes, please. More, please.”</span>
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  <span>“Do you want to come, parabatai?”</span>
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  <span>“Yes! Please make me come.” </span>
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  <span>“Please who? Tell me who you belong to, Alec.” Jace says, one hand moving to Alec’s jaw to hold it in place so he can kiss him greedily. </span>
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  <span>“You, Jace. Only you.” Alec hears himself say, and an unsinkable peace pours into him. It is the truth. No matter what happened and what road life took him on to bring him here, he belongs to Jace. </span>
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  <span>Jace was right. He just had to let himself feel it. At the time, he didn’t understand how he was supposed to do that, buried under the shame of what the consul did to him. But now he knows the truth in every cell of his being and every corner of his soul. </span>
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  <span>“Come for me, Alec.”Jace whispers in his ear, hips moving with intentional precision, right into and over Alec’s prostate, wringing his release from him without effort and leaving him panting. </span>
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  <span>He’s over sensitised and drugged with endorphins, but he is also distantly aware Jace is still hard inside him. Jace basks in the lazy contentment of Alec’s release in the bond, but soon starts to move again, kneeling up and guiding Alec’s long legs up, until his ankles rest on Jace’s shoulders. </span>
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  <span>Jace caresses down Alec’s legs, turning to kiss one ankle, then the other, starting to thrust.</span>
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  <span>Alec loves this part - the one where Jace knows he can keep up and come for him a second time. And this is all them and the immense trust they built together. </span>
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  <span>He’s sure they can uncover a lot more possibilities to their bond and to their physical connection, but this time around he’s gotten what he wanted and he needs to fall asleep in Jace’s arms letting the pleasant exhaustion gently lull him into unconsciousness. They can talk things through in the morning. </span>
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  <span>Jace cleans them both and brings Alec a glass of water in bed after, watching him finish it before settling for sleep. </span>
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  <span>As Alec drifts off in his arms, it takes Jace a bit longer to fall asleep.</span>
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  <span>He didn’t know, until recently, if he would even be capable of having sex again. His body remembers too much fear, too much terror at the many new tortures, but he would much rather bulldoze his own needs than watch Alec suffer or doubt himself even for a second, if it is in his power to change that. </span>
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  <span>Until now, it’s always been Alec taking the heat for everything that came their way. And sadly enough, he could not tell how Jace was feeling, so used to all the negative feelings in their bond belonging only to him. </span>
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  <span>Jace hopes the dread colouring his every moment darker will ease up once he buries his sword in the consul’s vile chest. </span>
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<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Reset</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The consul is easily cornered - even with all the mundane security money can buy, he is no match for Jace’s determination and for Alec and Imogen’s strategising.<br/><br/>The mission is not the private execution the consul would normally deserve, according to Clave laws; it is an assassination carried out with artistic precision.</p><p>Jace is the one who gets to the consul, glamoured as his fifteen year old self. The old goat has a type and that type is <em> helpless </em> .<br/><br/>Alec would have played the part too - no one wants to see the consul dead more than he does. But he lacks that edge of sadism that Jace has, of relishing in the cat and mouse game, to terrorise his target before it’s primed for the killing. </p><p>It is the consul’s love of lost young boys that seals the deal, gaining Jace access to the well guarded and secret compound where the monster has been hiding.<br/><br/>He and Alec are using Seelie spy rings to communicate from a distance and Alec learns of the location of the mansion right before Jace has to accept a drink, most likely laced with drugs, which, if not of mundane origin, might neutralise his glamour.<br/><br/>But it all proves to be a quick in and out mission as Jace switches out the drinks when the consul isn’t looking and, as expected, the old man finds himself unable to react or move, but very much conscious of what is happening.<br/><br/>He trembles and begs for his life when Jace deglamours himself, and tries to argue that he did Alec a favour for raping him while Alec was his prisoner, since the alternative, in his mind, would have been treating him the same as Jace was, and no one thought Alec could take the same amount of torture, since he didn’t have pure angel blood.<br/><br/>He doesn’t get to finish his thought as an arrow pierces his neck clean through.<br/><br/>“Still think I’m weak?” Alec says calmly, making himself a cocktail and sitting on the sofa, watching Dieudonné choke on his own blood as he stains the white carpet beneath him dark red. “But you’re right about one thing. Archery… it does have the advantage of not getting your hands dirty. I’d have to burn any blade that cut you.”<br/><br/>Jace sits next to him on the sofa and they sit close, holding hands and leaning into each other, watching the monster die at their feet.<br/><br/>Alec calls Imogen after they leave the mansion.<br/><br/>“It is done.”<br/><br/>***<br/><br/>Their enemies are dead. The people who did them harm are dead.<br/><br/>But neither Jace, nor Alec feel avenged.<br/><br/>Their lives are still ruled by the same laws as before, in a world where some have all the power and are untouchable, whereas others are vulnerable, defenseless and without the right to ask for better.<br/><br/>Alec notices that Jace has become more and more withdrawn and sometimes seems worlds away. He worries, but he feels no real reason to fear in the bond.<br/><br/>There’s just whispers he can’t decipher, like someone whistling a distant melody he can’t place.<br/><br/>One morning, he wakes up and looks next to him, Jace is still asleep, but startlingly changed.<br/><br/>His golden hair is now white, and there is barely any pigment left in his skin. His runes are a dark gold shade now, even though they are not glowing.<br/><br/>When Jace opens his eyes to look at Alec though, it’s still his mismatched, earthly blue and gold eyes that take in Alec’s shocked expression.<br/><br/>Imogen sends him to the Iron Sisters as soon as she sees him and their leader lets out a cry upon Jace first appearing in her citadel.<br/><br/>The question is obvious on Alec’s face, and she answers eagerly.<br/><br/>“This is not a disease. Our beloved Angels have bestowed further powers on him. Only time will tell what they are and what they are meant to be used for.”<br/><br/>Alec is relieved, spending his afternoon glued to Jace, his arms around his parabatai.<br/><br/>They soon have to appear before the Clave and give testimony of their ordeal, so it goes on record, but knowing how the Clave usually works, the whole story will be denied, buried and forgotten. The Clave does not make mistakes.<br/><br/>Jace has Alec by his left side and Imogen on his right. Together, they take a stand in front of the entire Clave.<br/><br/>They are basically told that, even though their ordeal is horrifying and a mistake that should never have happened, no further justice shall be carried out, since all the Nephilim involved in tormenting them are dead.<br/><br/>“No. This has to change.” Jace says, standing again. “We pretend we are the good guys, because we have runes and angel blood. But the Clave functions like a terrorist organisation - off the record executions, torture facilities, abductions, convictions without trials, no possibility of recourse. We keep hearing ‘the law is hard’ whenever we ask if all the cruelty and the torture are necessary. If Nephilim can only be inspired by fear and the promise of suffering. We sweep all our problems under the rug so we can pretend there are none.”<br/><br/>“Mr Herondale, I appreciate the speech and I agree with most of it, but what would you have us do? We are warriors, a life of hardship is a given. You are asking for total reform because you’ve been to prison for a bit.” The new consul speaks.<br/><br/>“And you are asking me to continue to be the best Shadowhunter. To function, to serve at the highest standards and to act like a machine, who was not at all influenced by what was done to me. Every Shadowhunter I have ever met has not had a childhood, was beaten by their parents and their teachers and grew up battling depression, PTSD and suicidal urges. Instead of helping us deal with these, you tell us to never talk about the existence of these conditions and their possible treatment. You expect Alec to be an obedient soldier and to automatically agree with every single measure you decide on. But the things we’ve been through have had consequences, irreversible ones. Look at me. I barely look human-like. All that torture, all that pain. You can’t just slap an iratze on me, on anyone for that matter, and call it a day. Our souls remember. We want to know when it will all stop. When we will come to the 21st century.”<br/><br/>“Mr Herondale, while we agree on the great points, we will not upend our institutional traditions! Return to New York and draft a project for reforming the mental health practices in our society and then we can talk with a solid base. Until then… it is useless to just throw big words at us, words with little substance to them.”<br/><br/>“Traditions are just peer pressure from dead people! They deserve to be reexamined and updated now and then. And there is a Downworld saying that goes like this: ‘if you make out with the Devil, sooner or later you’ll meet his father.’ How much pain do you think Alec and I still owe the Clave? Are we supposed to die fighting your war simply because of the blood we were born with?” Jace counters. “How does killing, locking up and torturing your own soldiers help? I am giving you all a fair chance at a new start.”<br/><br/>Jace closes his eyes and Alec watches him focus. Suddenly, a wave of pain envelops and runs through the room as all present Nephilim, bar Alec and Imogen, feel their runes lifting off of their skin like dirt or paint.<br/><br/>“Since you are so fair and just, you must not have anything to fear while living among mundanes, which you now also are. But now I suggest you leave Idris at once, before all the rune energy here starts making you all sick and killing you."</p><p>He then turns to Alec and Imogen: “Do you guys think you can handle organising new Clave member elections on your own, or do you need me?"<br/><br/>Alec smiles and nods, watching Jace in total awe. Many in Idris now fear Jace and his enhanced angelic powers and whispers are going around about him being too frightening to keep living among normal Nephilim and mundanes. But Alec only sees the boy he fell in love with many years ago. <br/><br/>They walk out of the Accords Hall hand in hand, and Imogen gives them both hugs and kisses on the monumental stairs.<br/><br/>For the first time since he was a child, not yet caught in the usual Nephilim parent schemes, Alec feels freedom, true freedom coursing through him.<br/><br/>Jace’s hand in his is cool and pleasant. The sun shines gently on his face. Birds sing in the distance and nothing is missing. Alec feels all his shadows melt away as his smiling face is reflected back at him in sparkling mismatched eyes.<br/><br/>(The End)</p>
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